Relive the glory of qualifying for the UEFA cup by finishing fifth in the Fair Play League. Remember the famous victory over a team from the Faroe Islands, and the humiliation against a vertically-challenged bunch of Danish pork butchers, in front of 25 people and a dog at the Council of Manchester Stadium. City scabbed a result after that, but rest assured, it will end in a) Tears and b) The next round.

Note : There isn’t enough material for a DVD. This item is available on floppy disk.

There have been 23 managers, 6 prime ministers, a new century and the birth of an entire personal computer industry since a Manchester City captain last lifted silverware, unless you count the League One play off trophy. This collectors item chronicles the lows and lows of City’s long, painful and completely pointless search for glory. Find out who they rented the empty trophy room to and what they did with all that unused metal polish.

Available as a 32 DVD boxed set.

‘Dr. Richard Kimble must elude police and Lt. Philip Gerard who is obsessed with his capture, as he attempts to find the person who wronged him...’

This is a work of fiction and any resemblance to persons living, dead or fleeing the authorities in Thailand with an already convicted spouse is entirely coincidental.

Amaze your friends, be a wow at parties and find out who’s really gullible with this exquisitely crafted collection of massive porkies. Entries include:

Gordon Brown - Britain's most popular man

Bears don’t shit in the woods as they’ve built their own toilet facilities

The Pope is really a protestant

Julian Clary - My time as a cage fighter, and the epic:

I’m a Man City fan, but I’m not bitter. I respect what Manchester United have achieved and I don’t wake up with a sodden pillow every morning because I’ve sobbed myself into unconsciousness the night before.

Available in paperback. Foreword by Kevin Keegan.

Too poor to afford your own stadium? That’s no disgrace, especially with the mortgage situation and property prices these days. This handy guide includes tips on researching the market, what price you should pay and negotiating that all important tenancy agreement.

Bonus chapters included in this edition:

How to Avoid Being Shafted by Those Bastards on the Council When You Move from Your Old Stadium and:

What to Do When Some Nutter from Thailand Wants to Sell All Your Players and Turn Your Beloved Home into a Giant Noodle Bar